Mischief

It's almost that time again, as college season is starting up again, for we ninja to terrorize and paralyze the semi-innocent college-goers. We have many devious and maniacal plans in store for this season, as well as many secret activities for our fellow ninja to participate in.

Homework will begin wreaking havoc on students in many excruciatingly painful ways.

As a side note, I am referring to Homework, the ninja three doors down from me. (Many non-ninja are surprised to find that common words and phrases are actually ninja.) He's really quite nice in person, but he has a mean temper and often bursts into enormous amounts of rage at random intervals, using professors and teachers to take the blame for his actions. His sensei, Pop Quiz, seems to be more feared, though he seems to be skilled only at assassinating bad students...

Best of luck to you all in the new semester! May you be swamped with research papers!

¤ LightingNinja ¤

Are you enjoying your "New Year"?

Greetings to the masses!

How are you enjoying your "New Year" of 2010? I say "New Year" because:

1) Four weeks of it are already gone, so it's not really "new" anymore.

2) There's already been a 2010, but it was about 4020 years ago, so you don't really think about it do you? Can you believe that? You are discriminating against a year just because it's really old. Shameful!

3) And most importantly, because ninjas are so fast we are already in the month of February! Now I know you expected me to say that we were already in year 2011 or 3754, but that is not true. Ninjas do not time travel. We leave that up to wacky professors with flux capacitors. You should know though that most higher level ninjas are a bit more advanced in time than non-ninjas. At this moment, I'm already about two weeks ahead of you. So I suppose this post is doing some time travel just to get to you!

Some ninjas that are even older and more highly trained than I am, can advance in time even more. (now since you are probably a non-ninja reading this, I should explain in Layman's Terms [Layman was a ninja who lived around 450 B.C. and 1100 B.C. {please note he did not live "during" that time like non-ninjas would, he lived "around" that time. This shows you that he also participated in time advancement} Layman translated ninja terms into words and phrases that non-ninjas could understand and I have relied on it heavily while writing these thoughts. Other wise you wouldn't understand what I was trying to say. So if you ever don't understand something that I, the Lighting Ninja, or the Ask A Ninja ninja says, just know that we thought you'd understand what we were saying, but we forgot to put in Layman's Terms]

Oh my shuriken! I still haven't explained the difference between time travel and time advancement yet! In the shell of a very small nut, time travel is when you can go from one in time to a completely different point in time and then back again. Time advancement is when you go through time, only at a faster pace. So, for example, lets say I go from Tuesday to Friday. I would skip Wednesday and Thursday. That would be time travel, and ninjas cannot do that. But time advancement would be if I went through Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in only 80 hours instead of the 96 hours that it would take you to do the same thing.

Well I must go now. Cupid is causing some trouble.

The Second Ninja

([:])

As Christmas Encroaches

Now we come to that time of the year where everyone is worrying about the most misunderstood holiday of the year: Christmas. Not only are businesses trying to tell you that the season is about "holidays" in general instead of just Christmas (the one that anyone really cares about anyway), but they are also filling your head with so many other lies as well! They try to tell you that Santa wears red, that the toys are made by elves, and that Santa transverses the globe with the use of "magic" instead of just pure Ninja skill! Rather than try to explain this to you, I will let another Ninja explain it to you.




If you require more information, practice your own ninja skills and look it up for yourself!

The Second Ninja

([:])

Enter Second Ninja!

Greetings to the masses!

This is a message to you all so that you are informed that I, another mysterious ninja, have taken co-authorship of this petty posting of thoughts. For many long years, I have seen that these ponderings of my fellow ninja had potential to achieve great things (yes, I know that you think these postings have only been around for only a few months, but you must remember that I'm a ninja), and it is for this reason that I have taken co-authorship.

Many of you may be wondering why I agreed to co-author a posting of ponderings authored by a ninja of the "Tech" Clan. It is true that I am from a very small and obscure clan, the "Chainmaille" Clan, and in standing within our chivalrous goals I have agreed not the impale this Lighting Ninja with all manner of small aluminum rings.

Until I decide to enlighten you with my inteligence at a later moment,

Attempt to Watch Your Back!

(I realize that is hard for you non-ninjas)

Wall Flips - For the Non-Ninja

You can find out how to do a wall flip through this excellent tutorial video provided by 3RUN out of the UK.

¤ LightingNinja ¤

Ask a Ninja

Have you ever pondered on deep questions regarding the lives of ninjas? You can find all of the answers (the funny ones at least) at Ask A Ninja! For a small sample of the hilarity that ninjas can produce:

Subscribe to his channel and enjoy the non-stop stream of apple pies.

¤ LightingNinja ¤

ChosonNinja

ChosonNinja is a ninja master from South Korea. He has a YouTube channel with over 1000 videos on ninja techniques and weapons. There are tutorials for fighting, making your own tools, and the history of ninja. He earns a ¤¤¤¤¤ rating from the LightingNinja.

Until next time

¤ LightingNinja ¤